oh god the rape fog is back!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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