I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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