Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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