Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
