Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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