Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
