You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize