im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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