You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
