i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
