puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
