i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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