I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
