My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
