he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
