when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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