Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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