You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
