Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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