Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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