he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
