Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
