I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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