you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
