brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
