ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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