STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
