So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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