So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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