my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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