false alarm. still invincible.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
