I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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