He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
