I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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