the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
