You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
