Nicole vs. Life
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
