Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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