i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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