brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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