John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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