You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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