I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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