He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hippo gnu deer
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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