watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
