i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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