Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
