i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize