happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Say something about gay babies.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize