If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
