So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
