Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
