im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
