even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ok first of all what the fuck
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
