I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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