my vag is so smooth its legendary
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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