Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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