I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
