This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
