It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
