No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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