Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
