I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
