I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
