so that wasnt chicken after all
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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