porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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