He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize