super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
