I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
