What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Let's get the cat blown out
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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