Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Drunk is not a location!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
