I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
