peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize