So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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