Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
