I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
handjob tips. give me some.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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