pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
