Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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