My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
