I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
